What's So Jazzy about Jazz?

Driving home late last night, I was searching my radio for some music that would keep me awake. It seems that most Sunday morning or late night shows feature Jazz. What is Jazz? I'm not talking about lite Jazz like sung by Etta James. I think the heavy Jazz is quasi-music developed by men - for men - so they don't have to dance. Most men I know would rather chew off their toes than get on the dance floor. "Honey, I'd love to dance with you, but as you know I don't have toes, so instead let's go to this great Jazz bar I found."

Jazz also eliminates sing-alongs unless you want to aimlessly purse and unpurse your lips at various rhythms of "ba-baba-ba-baba", which I must say I see men doing much more than women. Often the men are doing it while the woman is talking, but that's another story.

Speaking of rhythm, the little Jazz I've been forced to listen to seems to not have a beat. When I hear other music, I can at least keep the time by slapping my leg. With Jazz, I can start a regular leg beat but soon I'm way off from where the quasi-music went. All I hear is a loud white noise.

Once, when coerced to go to a Jazz club - with a guy - I asked him how you know when a song is over? And basically he said that when everyone finishes their solos, they stop playing. I'm sorry but some of those solos just sound like an orchestra tuning up. At least when I go to hear other music that I might not like, I can pretty much figure out when it is coming to an end - not so with Jazz. It seems to end just before I am ready to stand up and scream "I can't take it any more". Yet, I look over at my male friend and he is just lost in the music. I am at a loss as to why we have such totally different reactions to this music.

It makes me think that this "difference" plays a part in the problems with how men and women communicate. I know that this may sound like a stretch but consider this -if I think Jazz is white noise to me, then probably men think of women's voices as white noise to them. I'm just saying -