Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Allergy Season

Around here, allergy season is all year. Because of that, I am constantly on the look out for allergy medication that actually works. It seems like the best drugs for allergies are hidden behind the pharmacy counter. I finally decide to try those extra special allergy boxes I can only see from a distance.

To get them, you have to show your driver's license, sign something important and watch the pharmacy tech eye you up. I know they are looking for terrorist-looking people who need these pills to build something bad. I try to look as normal as possible with my runny, downward turned eyes (looking up hurts), the heavy breathing (my lungs sound like there is a party of mice in there), messy hair ( looking in the mirror means I have to "look up" - and as I said before - that hurts!) and wrinkled day old clothes (my chest hurts too much to lift the iron).

I croak, "Another hot one, huh? Is that the largest box you can sell me? I'm just asking because I have these allergies, really." I see them look over at the phone, so I back off with the pleading look.

I choose the 42 pack of 24 hour pills and head to the car with my stash. I'm tired, I'm sick and I need my drugs. Opening the stapled bag, I read the front of the box. "Non-Drowsy Extended Relief". I guess those drug manufacturers know what they are doing. I take 2 pills and drive home.

Eighteen hours later, I am still sneezing, wheezing and runny - but I'm wide awake. At least the "non drowsy" part seems to be working. Maybe that's so we allery sufferers can make it to a 24 hour pharmacy to purchase another kind of medication. Smart folks, those drug manufacturers!