Palm Reader - Part II

I couldn't resist. The last time I went to a palm reader (actually the only other time I went) was at the same festival a few years ago and the man told me I was going to be very sick (or something) in 5 years. I still can't remember how many years ago that was but I think it must be going on 5 years. But what do I know - I think that Woodstock wasn't that long ago and I'm sure I went to my annual physical exam just a year or so ago. Time is just a 4 letter word.

Anyway, when I saw him - and I think it was the same man or a relative - I decided to hear my future once again. This was only for research purposes, mind you. This time, I brought an interpreter, my daughter, to listen. I'm embarrassed to say that even though my background is speech-pathology, I still needed help understanding the man. If I did have a course in "How to Understand Everyone" it must have been during a too early 7 am class.

He told me I could ask him 2 questions. He started by asking my birth date and name. Then he seemed to do some calculations on the paper. He put his pencil down and reached for my hand. I tried to ask him if it made a difference what hand he read since I was left-handed and he was reading my right hand, but I don't think he understood me. (He must have missed that course also) He started squishing the flesh on my hand like he was kneading bread and finally said "you have 2 children". OK, that was accurate. Then he went on to say "you're not going to have money problems. You'll have all of the money you'll need". (I like that so I'll accept that as accurate.)

After a bit more squishing, he said (or my daughter interpreted) "you won't go into a hospital" (excellent) "you will die of a heart attack" (hmmmm) "your friends will say 'I just talked to her yesterday and now she's gone'". (I guess that's OK but it is counter to what I was told before about getting very sick. I think I like this one better) He added that I needed to take herbs for my blood pressure. (It sounded like those herbs weren't going to work though but I didn't question)

Then he said "you're going to work until you're 66" (Yes, I can do that and actually to get full social security, I'll have to do that. But I won't have money problems he said so does that mean I can live off of my social security or I will die soon after I turn 66?)
"Does that mean I'm going to die at 66?" I asked using my first question. He shook his head "no". That was a short answer! Why did I waste my first question on one with a "yes" or "no" answer! I'm starting to think that I'm one of those people who want to know when I'm going to die. That way, being a procrastinator I can hold off cleaning and organizing until the last minute.

He changed the subject and after looking at my hand he asked how much education I had and I said that I had a masters' degree. He looked down again at my hand and then said "you quit learning at age 26". (awww, come on, my comments haven't been that unintelligent) Now, I was starting to question his reading. I actually didn't even get my masters' until I was in my 30's and I have taken a multitude of classes all of my life so this was way off. I'm pretty sure I've learned something since I was 26.

He went on to the topic of marriage and said that I would have (or had) a happy marriage after age 28. Well, I was first married at 21 and that was happy for quite awhile. I did re-marry well after 28 and that worked for awhile. Maybe I missed my window of opportunity. I was beginning to get more skeptical

We were getting to the end of the reading and I could ask one more question. I asked how my family was going to fare? He said that they would take care of me and give me descendants and that we were close (I guess having my daughter sitting beside me interpreting was pretty close) I already have 1 descendant, my little grandson, so I guess he was right.

He was a very nice man so I'm not complaining. He definitely said many of the things we older adults want to hear - I'll have money, die quickly, have descendants and have close family who will take care of me (but then why would I need to be taken care of if I'm going to be healthy and have money until I keel over?)

Next year I'm going to ask him to clarify that last point.