1. Don't ever laugh or even acknowledge the staff working at the Xray machines in the airport unless you have a few hours to spare.
2. No matter how good the "special price" is, never eat a bean burrito before boarding a plane.
3. Never get a "spur of the moment perm" just before closing at a salon in the local mall in another city.
4. Don't ever bring only 2 tissues on a 2 plus hour flight.
5. Never try to blow your nose on a piece of notebook paper when you run out of tissues.
6. Never soap up your hands in the rest room without being sure the water faucet works.
7. Never bring too little underwear on a trip thinking you can wash it and it will dry overnight in your hotel room.
8. Never believe everything your GPS tells you.
9. Never leave the rental car parking lot without knowing how to turn on the lights, open a window, open the gas cap or open the door.
10. Never pack clothes based on the weather report you checked before you left home.
11. Never think that the safety pin holding your pants up will get you through the day problem-free.
12. Never say out loud "This flight is always on time" or "I've never had an airline lose my bag".
13. Never think that you don't have to write down where you parked your car in the airport parking lot.
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How do you make such practical advice sooo funny?
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