Baggers' Humor

The job as a grocery bagger isn't glam or high paying. Most people hardly notice them, unless they do something wrong. So they have to at least make their job entertaining - for themselves. Now that I realize that, I can appreciate- but still not like - their antics. Like when they put a bag of donuts on the counter in front of the customer, instead of in a bag - notice they don't ever look at you when they do that - probably because they couldn't hold back the laughter if they did.

I especially like how they put a loaf of bread in a bag by itself yet put four, three liter bottles of soda in another bag. When you go to pick up both bags, you feel one arm being pulled out of it's socket as it stretches toward the ground while the other arm is lifting something so light it causes you to lose your balance and look like someone put a cane around your neck and is quickly dragging you out of the store - sideways. I think the baggers like that move the best.

What about the baggers that stop to look at what you bought and then covertly stare at you. "Yes, I bought 3 large boxes of extra long maxi pads - but I'm doing a craft project." "Yes, that is a six-pack of fleet enemas, but they are for my neighbor". "Yes, I remember that I bought 2 jumbo bags of Halloween candy 2 days ago, and you commented on that then, also." "Yes, those are rat and roach traps - do you want to come over for dinner?" And why do I think I have to explain anything to those "paper or plastic" demons?


Seriously, if I didn't get so confused at the self-checkout stations, I would not put myself through that torment. Now, when I check out, I not only look at the length of the line, but also at who is doing the bagging. ("I can't go to that bagger. He saw me buy 4 Weight Watcher's Dinners, a bag of potato chips and a Boston Cream Pie - yesterday) I've even taken to wearing different hats and sunglasses, but those baggers must have to have photographic memory skills to be hired.

When my daughter was little, she went through a phase where she would not go out of the house with me unless she had a paper bag over her head - I think she was on to something! "Paper, please!"