Camping with the Jones

I just got back from a camping trip and noticed that I am not keeping up with the Jones. I'm relatively new at this and am happy that I have a microwave and an A/C, but now I see just how inadequate of a camper I am.

For example, people bring outdoor fans and it looks like one tries to outdo the others. Some people had a regular box fan plugged in outside and used it while they sat outdoors. But the "Jones" had the wind tunnel shop fan that is so big, I'm sure they have to leave one of their children at home to make room for it. I, luckily had a very nice hand fan that I waved around my dripping face as I passed the trendsetters.

Another biggie is the golf cart. Now, why one needs it to go around a level, not very large campground is beyond me, but then I already mentioned that I am an inadequate camper. You see big ladies, macho men and little girls maneuvering them around the campsites. And I know one of the reasons they use them - to check out other people's campers and outdoor decorations.

Speaking of outdoor decorations - people bring signs with their names on them and plant them in front of their campers as if they have moved in. It's like they are expecting the postal service to show up. They also string lights, put up flags, and even have color-coded chairs and table cloths. I, on the other hand, pull out one old folding chair and use my picnic table to dry my swim suit and towel. The most festive I am is when I turn on my outside light (which I didn't know I had for months). I was thinking of getting a red bulb, but decided it might send the wrong message.

Although people are polite to me, I have nothing to offer in ways of innovative decorations. I actually bought one string of white lights but realized that I don't have an awning to string them on. I also don't have an outdoor place to plug them in. So, they are sitting neatly in their original box just in case someone (with an outdoor receptacle) needs to borrow them.

I also realized that size does matter - in RVs at least. I usually have the smallest camper in the grounds. Everyone has large RVs with slide outs, their own TV satellite, a car or golf cart towing behind it and of course, more decorations than I put up at Christmas.

I try not to let it bother me. I'm perfectly happy in my 19 foot camper van with no TV, no awning, no decorations or no golf cart. Really, I am happy. I would just like to have one small thing that no one else has thought of. Like life-sized cutouts of the Twilight kids, or a small but noticeable cotton candy machine. Or both! But then I'd probably have to leave my dog Seymour - and my microwave - at home. I still might consider it.