Keeping Up With Technology

I remember when my Dad was a car repair expert. No matter what kind of problem we had, he would get out his screwdrivers, pliers and duct tape - and magically the car was running again. To this day, I carry those things in my car for an emergency. I figured that if I broke down on the side of the road and waved my magical tools in the air, someone would stop to help, being impressed with my knowledge.

Although I do still carry those things around, they have become pretty much obsolete since computers in cars took over. And this is the same thing that happened with remote controls.

I used to be able to pick up the remote, hit the power button and click on the channel and waa-laaa, I was watching TV. Then I got cable. So I had 2 remotes to deal with - one to turn on the TV and one to turn on the cable box. I kept both remotes on the coffee table, ready for action, when a friend came to stay with me for a few days. I was out walking Seymour when she decided to watch TV. While I was walking, I started to worry that I hadn't left her directions on how to turn on the TV. It was a bit complicated. But, when I got back, there she was, watching a morning show while eating her cereal. I was just about to compliment her on her electronic knowledge when she remarked "You know that you don't need both remotes because this one turns on the TV and the cable". What?? For 2 years I was so proud of myself for figuring out how to turn on the TV and cable and in 5 minutes, someone who has never even seen my remote controls before finds the shortcut to power. It was a little embarrassing but I've gotten used to that feeling over the years.

I think I'm a quick learner so I immediately - and proudly - began using my universal remote. Technology wasn't getting ahead of me after all - I thought.

Last night I went to my daughter's house to take care of her dogs while she was away. I decided to watch their enormous TV while I was playing with the dogs. I looked for the remote - and found 3. I tried to match them to the electronics they had piled in their TV cabinet. I found the one that went with the TV and I was pretty sure I found the one to the cable. First, I pressed "power" on the TV remote - nothing happened. Then I took the other remote and pressed TV, then power - and nothing again. I went up to the TV to see if there was a button somewhere I could press to turn it on and couldn't find anything. Finally after jabbing every possible button, the TV went on but the screen was fuzzy. I again pressed every button that seemed like it would do something but still, no picture or sound.

I stared at the cable remote until my eyes started to water and saw that a couple buttons had nothing on them - possibly rubbed off from overuse, which was a positive sign. I pressed both - nothing. Then I decided that I had to press the keys in a certain order, so I tried "cable" - "power" - "channel" - "blank key". Nope. After minutes of pressing keys in various order, I was wishing each key would have a different sound so I could entertain myself by playing tunes. "Blank", "blank", "cable", "cable", "Power", "blank", "channel" . . . As entertaining as that was in my head, my eyes were getting bored staring at the fuzzy screen. Five minutes and an Excedrin later, I got the TV power to go off. I lined the remotes on the couch and slipped a note under them saying "I think I broke your TV and Cable. The dogs are fine."

Technology stuck it's tongue out as it passed me.